a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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