This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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