Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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