I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
