have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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