you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
