We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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