He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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