I am in a vortex of obligation.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
