So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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