Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
