bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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