so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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