Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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