Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
