Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
