VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
