Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
