He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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