I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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