I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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