its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
