just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
