Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
