honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
