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His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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