Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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