i don't like sucking hair
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
