Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
