i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize