Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
