She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He passed out mid-signature
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
