I wish I only lived at night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
