turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
