If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
