Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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