Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
