she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
