Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
