IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
