Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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