you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
