i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
And then he peed in my hair
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