Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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