so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
