for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
