I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize