Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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