We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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