So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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