she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
