Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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