cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
