well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
