i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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