Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
