East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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