omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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